Stitches is a 2012 psychological horror comedy film directed by Conor McMahon, starring Tommy Knight, Ross Noble, Gemma-Leah Devereux, Shane Murray Corcoran, Thommas Kane Byrne, Eoghan McQuinn, Roisin Barron, Hugh Mulhern, John McDonnell, Tommy Cullen, Lorna Dempsey, Jemma Curran, and Ryan Burke. The plot concerns a birthday clown returning from the dead to exact revenge upon a boy and a group of children who contributed to his death.

Positives:

• Good use of practical effects

Negatives:

• Unlikable characters
• Poor dialogue
• Poorly written characters
• Poorly written plot

Commentary: Now in the overall scheme of things, the type of story that is presented isn’t original. The premise is pretty solid, a clown come back from the grave to kill the people responsible for his death. Tom’s storyline focusing on him overcoming his fears is a good presentation of the premise. The story does go at a decent pace, enough to give backstory and point out the main characters but no enough to develop any relationship with them. Also, there are inconsistencies that make much of the story feel too convenient, such as some of the characters being killed but no one being around despite it being a house full of people. (2 out of 5)

Almost every character is so unlikable, so blatantly awful, so purposely badly written to the point that it feels like someone was forcing their ten foot shlong down my throat. But what makes the film even worse is that the characters are even cliche. Tommy (Knight) is the main character who is traumatized by the death of Stitches and, next to Kate (Devereux), the only likable character. Also, his friend Kate is another light in the swirling cesspool of God awful characters. Despite their awkward moments here and there they do have chemistry. Stitches (Noble) was so unlikable that I practically begged the movie to kill him. Rude, vulgar, and a douchebag, his death was the best part of the film. (2 out of 5)

Despite many negative aspects, the film does have a good use of practical effects. There is a lot of gore and it is used in a constructive way. The Stitches design could’ve been done a bit better to reinforce the idea that he is dead and not a drunk hobo. (3 out of 5)

A lot of the writing is pretty bad to the point of being comical. The dialogue is just terrible, reinforced by the already bland characters, making for lackluster conversations. Also, Stitches is written to be a supernatural character but acts more a crazy stalker. (1 out of 5)

The Verdict: In the end, Stitches is a terrible movie on nearly every front. Despite the likable aspects of the film’s two main leads the film and the practical effects, suffers from poorly written characters, poorly written script, and poor performances. Stitches is a B-rated horror movie and will only appeal to fans of that specific genre. Stitches gets 2 out of 5.