Sorority Row is a 2009 slasher film directed by Stewart Hendler (Max Steel), starring Briana Evigan (Step Up 2: The Streets), Leah Pipes (Her Best Move), Rumer Willis (The House Bunny), and Carrie Fisher (Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens). The plot focuses on a group sorority sisters who are stalked and murdered on the night of their graduation after covering up the accidental death of a fellow sorority sister.
- Decent performances
- Decent gore
- Poor performances
- Terrible script
- Lackluster story
- Poor direction
- Bad dialogue
- Terrible characters
Plot: The film focuses on a group of sorority sisters who are stalked and murdered on the night of their graduation after covering up the accidental death of a fellow sorority sister. The movie jumps right into the twist, without the necessary build up. The overall story is more than cliche but at least it goes at a good pace. The whole twist was just plan stupid especially considering who the killer is and their motivation. Sequel bait ending. (1 out of 5)
Characters: The weakest point of the film are the characters. They are nothing but one big troupe; the conscience one, the nerdy one, the douchebag, the slut, and the unremarkable one. Jessica (Pipes) and Cassidy (Evigan) are honestly the most entertaining characters. There is really no depth to any of the other characters and not only are they troupes but they are so unlikable. Ellie (Willis) is the most annoying character. It was unfortunate the script didn’t kill her off, preferably at the beginning of the movie. Maggie (D’Amore) is a completely useless character that should not have been in the movie as she contributes nothing whatsoever. Most of the other characters aren’t worth even mentioning, especially the damn antagonist. (1 out of 5)
Cast: Poor and unremarkable performances by the cast. The main cast includes Briana Evigan (Cassidy), Leah Pipes (Jessica), Rumer Willis (Ellie), Jamed Chung (Claire), and Margo Harshmen (Chugs). By far, Evigan gives the best and most memorable performance. Other performances include Audrina Patridge (Megan), Julian Morris (Andy), Carrie Fisher (Mrs. Crenshaw), Matt O’Leary (Garrett), Caroline D’Amore (Maggie), and Matt Lanter (Kyle). (3 out of 5)
Visuals: The visuals aren’t anything to run home about but the film is shot well. There is a great use of practical effects especially when it comes to gore and kill scenes that looks good. There are moments where the film does have atmosphere which helps with the tension. (3 out of 5)
Score: The score is alright and definitely nothing memorable. Thanks to Lucian Piane for such an uneventful soundtrack. (2 out of 5)
Writing: What sticks out is how bad the writing really is. The script straight up sucks. Poorly planned and unnecessary jumpscares. Tons of conveniences that make little to no sense. And the dialogue. The dialogue has got to be some of the worst dialogue I’ve ever scene. And not only is the dialogue terrible but also the execution. Look at Leah Pipes scenes. She gives her lines as if she doesn’t give a damn in the slightest and it’s hard to tell if it’s her acting or her character. Also, the dialogue tries to be clever, and though some moments it does give humor to an otherwise serious moment, it is really bad. However, there are some great sequences when it comes to the suspense and horror. Shame on the writers for their lack of interest in making this movie and also the director for poring some of the strong stuff in his whiskey while on break. (2 out of 5)
The Verdict: In the end, Sorority Row is one of the worst movies ever conceived. Because of the terrible script, terrible dialogue, craptacular characters, poor performances, and a bland and predictable story. Sorority Row gets 2 out of 5.