10 Things the Movie Ax ‘Em Taught Me

This is one of those low budget movies that was obviously shot by amateurs and probably shouldn’t have seen the light of day.  However, despite how bad the movie is there is something to learn from it.

 1. Don’t bring so many characters into the fray

Almost all of the characters have little to no depth to them.  Some of the characters do have their distinguishing features that make them standout but not enough to either care nor be interested.  There are so many characters introduced and never addressed again which makes little to no sense.

2. Acting is key in a movie that sucks

I think it’s safe to say that the performances in this movie are less than sub par.  But I honestly think it’s more towards the script and directing than the cast lacking talent.  However, a great low budget slasher does need decent performances.

3.  A bad script leads to a bad movie

The script is not only bad but just terrible.  The movie does have a good premise but its execution is less than poor.  The dialogue is poorly written, many of the sequences lack intensity, and the fact that there are a ton of scenes don’t make any sense nor feed anything to the plot.  People running around the forest in the middle of night with a killer chasing them doesn’t really make sense.  If there is humor it should be better utilized.

4. Blurry quality leads to a ton of headaches

The movie is a pain to watch.  I suppose watching it as a kid is more impressive than watching it as a movie critic.  The quality is crap and could be forgiven if the editing was done a little bit better.  Especially since the film is shot in the dark.

5. A good story goes a long way

True, a killer in the woods stalking unsuspecting prey isn’t original but at least try to have a credible story.  Not much is known about the characters’ motivations, why the killer is doing what he’s doing, and a good reason for the group taking the retreat, where they are, or who’s house it is.  It probably was said but wasn’t heard due to the sound quality.

6. If it sounds good…well…it sounds good

There are a many a moment where the sound quality is just crap.  It could be forgiven because it is a low budget movie but it would be nice to actually hear what the characters are saying.

7. If there’s a random killer, at least have presence

The killer is without a doubt one of the most generic killers ever.  There’s nothing interesting about him outside of the fact that he is killing people.  No reason as to why.  Hell, the idiot doesn’t even talk.  He has almost nothing for himself. Him running around grunting really hard is ridiculous.  And was the killer supernatural or not?

8.  A good score is critical for suspense

The music isn’t anything to run home about.  It is so random and ill placed.  Sure, some of the music could’ve worked out better had it been distributed better.

9.  Screaming in the woods doesn’t create tension

If people are being stalked by a killer in the woods at night there is literally no reason why they should yelling, screaming, literally bouncing around, complaining about random stuff, nor not banding together.  Most of the time everyone is screaming and bouncing like little kids on Halloween.

10.  Black people who make slashers need to step their game up

I’m a black man and I was embarrassed for the movie.  This attempt at making a black horror movie is pathetic.  All it is is a bunch of useless cussing, characters who lack any kind of skill, and people who are acting “ghetto” in an otherwise life-or-death situation.

This movie is a travesty but there is always something to learn from tragedy.  If there was a talented director who decided to pick up this movie and reboot/remake it, these points could definitely make it a better movie.

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