Zoombies Review | 31 Days of Halloween 2016

Zoombies is a 2015 science fiction zombie horror film directed by Glenn R. Miller, starring Kim Nielsen, LaLa Nestor, Andrew Asper, Brianna Joy Chomer, Isaac Anderson, Aaron Groben, Marcus Anderson, and Ione Butler.  The film follows a small staff and some visitors of a to-be-opened zoo affected by a mysterious virus which turns the animals into meat-seeking aggressive zombies.


Positives:

  • Interesting premise

Negatives:

  • Poor cgi
  • Poorly written script
  • Lackluster performances
  • Poor dialogue
  • Terrible characters
  • Horrible execution on nearly every level

Commentary:  The story is interesting but complete garbage.  Seeing a bunch of people struggle against a twisted version of mother nature is a good premise but the film’s execution is terrible.  The story doesn’t make sense especially how the virus was release. (2 out of 5)


Most of the characters suck.  Half of them are only written in as canon fodder, and for those who do standout they have little to no depth to them.  The only good characters are Lizzy (Butler), Gage (Asper), and Thea (Nestor).  Lizzy is one of the few characters that is actually useful and smart (or what this crappy movie is considered smart). Not to mention that she is absolutely hot. Gage is just one of those characters who is likable.  Thea is the cute kid that everyone loves and routes for and when she has her moment, she’s definitely a character worth rooting for.  Ellen (Nielsen) is a decent character but cliche. There is at least some chemistry between Thea and Ellen. (3 out of 5)


The performances are lackluster and non memorable.  However, for the few who actually standout they’re decent.  Nestor, Asper, Rogers, and Butler. (2 out of 5)


The cgi is laughable, and I mean that in the worst way possible.  The animal effects suck and looked like they were ripped from a video game in the early 90s.  Kifo’s design is laughable, both cgi and practical.  The gorilla outfit is obviously a guy in a suit.  However, the practical effects when it comes to the gore is surprisingly good. (1 out of 5)


The writing for lack of a better word is shitty.  The script is not only riddled with some of the poorest conveniences but the lack of logic when it comes to certain scenes is just pathetic.  Plotholes run as rampant as the very virus that was infecting the animals. Most of the characters are poorly written with no depth to them at all.  Also, the film is poorly shot.  The editing is terrible.  Miller’s direction is terrible. (1 out of 5)


The Asylum is known for putting out shitty movies but words truly cannot describe.  Characters make the stupidest decisions.  There is no consistency whatsoever.  The story has no depth, no twists; nothing compelling.  And what makes this all worse is the fact that it is a good premise.


The Verdict:  In the end, Zoombies is more than a terrible film.  There is nothing redeemable about this film in the slightest.  If anyone just wants to watch a horrible movie as a bit of a time waster, by all means.  But due to the terrible script, terrible characters, lackluster performances, and TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE cgi, no one should ever watch this film and the director should be thoroughly flogged.  Maybe not flogged but at the very least have a difficult time getting a job directing another movie.  Zoombies gets 2 out of 5.

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